‘Tis the Season - How to Handle Holiday Stress

With the holiday season right around the corner, it’s normal to start to feel some increased stress in your everyday life. Increase in financial burdens, added mayhem to your calendar, creating and navigating travel plans, grieving lost loved ones, or maybe even dreading seeing some family members can all add onto this overwhelming feeling. How can you help yourself and your family get through without it making you feel like you’re ready to scream?

Set Realistic Expectations

We all have that picture perfect holiday idea in our head. It could be gathering with your family in matching pjs and sitting down to a big breakfast. Maybe it’s sitting alone curled up with a cup of hot cocoa watching your favorite holiday film. Or, even hoping to give someone in your family that one present that they will talk about for years to come. No matter what, we all have expectations of what the holidays should look like. But the holidays are much like life. It’s ok if things don’t go to plan. So set some expectations with the knowledge that things might change, and things won’t be ruined if they do.

Practice Self-Care

The holidays are often a lot more demanding with filled up schedules and having to run here, there and everywhere. Take time for yourself to unwind, show self-compassion, and make sure your needs are still being taken care of. It doesn't have to be a big bubble bath with a cup of tea watching your favorite show – but five minutes in the middle of the day (especially when you’re busy) to allow yourself to gather your thoughts can be really helpful. Taking time to recognize you’re doing a lot, and that it’s ok to feel overwhelmed.

Enjoy Family On Your Terms

Oftentimes holidays means packing up the car and heading out to see family. And sometimes we don’t get along with members of the family. Sometimes, the idea of having to talk to extended family can bring significant stress. The mix of differing thoughts on politics, religious views, opinions on parenting can all create a feeling of dread. Do what you need to do to help seeing family be less stressful: set boundaries on conversation topics, take a break and step outside, utilize other family members as a “social buffer”, set a time limit, or even decide that this year isn’t a year you want to go.

It’s OK To Say “No”

On holidays we often feel more obligated to agree to take on more responsibilities, offer more favors, and say yes to things that might put too much on our plate. It can feel like we’re abandoning the “holiday spirit” if we don’t do everything that others ask of us. It’s ok to say no to things that will not bring you joy, help you emotionally recharge, or create something good in your life. It’s ok to say no to situations that stress you out. Maybe you can’t make homemade cookies for your child’s school party, maybe you have no desire to go to your work’s holiday party, maybe you don’t want to do that family tradition that has been done for years– you can say no. Boundaries are healthy ways to create an environment where you feel safe and secure.

Honor Your Losses

For some, holidays are a difficult time due to loss of family members, friends, or other relationships. If you find yourself grieving during this holiday season, it’s important not to isolate yourself. Reach out to others in your life, schedule meetups with friends, coworkers, or others who bring you joy. Plan activities that will get you out of the house. Consider changing traditions if continuing one brings significant sadness. Find ways to integrate the memory of your loved ones into new traditions. Honor your loss and know that it’s ok to feel sadness that your loved one isn’t here to celebrate with you this year.

Reach Out If You Need Help

If you find the holiday season particularly stressful, or feel as though you need help to process it, reach out to a professional. Therapists can help you navigate setting boundaries with family members, learn and practice coping skills for stress and anxiety, process grief, work through the anxiety around saying “no”, as well as be a listening ear when you need space to vent.